My absence

Why have I been AWOL you ask? A number of reasons. I’ve been on holiday, I got a bit bored of blogging and I’m in love. I hate the phrase I’m in love, it makes it sound tacky and transient. Especially if I add an addendum – this time it’s different. But I am and it is.

My holiday was amazing, look at these pics!

I’ve been baking lots – I tried making some South African rusks but couldn’t get them crunchy enough. I’ve made heaps of apricot log because it’s so easy and everyone loves it. And churned out the usual mammoth proportions of brownies.

I’m organising a thanksgiving lunch with my fam and some extras – we’ve never had one before but I think it’s always good to remember how many things we can thank God for and I love traditions, especially those to do with food. Pumpkin pie, cornbread, turkey and cranberry sauce…

My heart beats for tom tom

I have a confession that rivals the closet George Bush Jnr fans, roller-bladers and grown men who still play with Star Wars toys.

I have a crush on Tom Cruise.

I know, I know, it’s so wrong. But even the way the man talks about Scientology turns me on – he’s passionate, he’s focused. He doesn’t care what the world thinks – he’s going to continue believing that we’re aliens.

I love the way he runs. I love how he executes the world’s cheesiest lines with fervour. I like his tightly-clenched jaw, his vanity, his dazzling smile, his fetish for taller women, his arrogance, his bad temper.

I like him grey (Collateral), young (Top Gun), Irish (Far and Away), naked (Risky Business), cocky (every movie, Cocktails, Jerry Maguire), misogynistic (Magnolia), paternal (War of the Worlds) and uniformed (a Few Good Men).

I know it was you Fredo

Al Pacino blew me away in that Godfather II scene – walking up to his brother at a crowded party, he grabs his head with both hands, kisses him forcefully and says ‘You broke my heart – YOU BROKE MY HEART’.

I’m going to do that to JP one day.

Lu’s away in Sydney at the moment and I hate being on my own. It’s not like I hate my own company – I can happily sit and read for hours – but I’d rather have people around. I don’t think anyone should live on their own, whether they want to or not. Life is about community. We should all live in communes.

Bundt’s a beauty

In celebration of my first week of dreary budgeting over, I treated myself to a new baking item – the long-awaited bundt pan. I have some baby and mid-sized bundt pans already but hadn’t splashed out on an adult bundt. It blew the tyres off my budget cart though - $48!!

It was all worth it when I turned my golden pear and treacle bundt out onto the cooling rack last night, whipped off the pan like a magician and surveyed my first fully-fledged bundt in all its steaming glory. I shouted to my sister to come and look but she was busy getting ready to go out. After worshipping in silence for a moment or two, I placed the tray high on the kitchen bench, anointed her with some Dutch cinnamon and castor sugar and there she sat like a queen on a hill looking down on her lowly subjects.

It was meant to be a maple and apple cake, which also sounded divine but maple syrup would definitely have derailed my budget and I wanted to use the pears I’d bought. It potentially needed some caramel sauce, although could have been too sweet – I think I just wanted to see something oozing over its delightful curves.

You’re probably wondering where the pictorial evidence of this masterpiece is and I confess, I completely forgot to record the moment. Next time I promise I won’t be so neglectful.

Today is a special day

because the stars have aligned and at exactly 12:34 and 56 seconds, the time and date will read:
12:34 56 07/08/09

My inner nerd is rapturous.

Stop being so frigging cute

I have to compete with two sisters for my niece's affections - I think my brother enjoys playing us off against each other. She said my name first.

I told my friend ray I was ready to have kids today and he called me an idiot. Actually I might have said six kids. That's not that crazy... I'm pretty happy just playing with my niece at the moment though. Plus, when women have babies they become really boring. That's an outrageous comment.

To the person who came across my site because they googled ‘I want to end my existence’:

Please don’t.

I’m no expert in counselling but I once had a family member tell me they would rather die than be alive and I know she’s happy to be alive now – it was just a really, really hard time she was going through. You’ll feel better again one day, especially if you reach out and ask someone for help.

You might feel like there’s no way out for you and that nobody can help or would even want to. But there are always people who are willing to help.

I think you’re in America – I saw that you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433). They offer 24-hour suicide prevention and support.